You’re doing it wrong if you’re only networking when you need something.
Networking is much more than exchanging business cards or LinkedIn requests; it’s the art of cultivating alliances that can transform your career and life trajectory. With purpose and structure, relationships can drive success, leveraging not just who you know but how you connect. This transformative power of networking is within your reach.
We often treat networking like a transaction — something we do at events or over coffee when we want a job, deal, or favour. But real networking is much deeper. It’s about building relationships that evolve into alliances — connections that create mutual value over time.
Reflecting on my time in the Air Force, climbing the Corporate ladder, and transitioning to the world of startups, I have missed several opportunities to establish deep networks. But each of these experiences was a valuable lesson in my networking journey, and I learnt from them. Remember, networking is a learning process, and it’s okay to make mistakes along the way.
In my book Achieving Success by Failing More, I reflect on personal stories that show how resilience, trust, and generosity shape strong networks. Over the decades, one framework that has helped me is the 5As of Networking: Answers, Advice, Assistance, Advocacy, and Alliance.
Each “A” is a mindset shift. Together, they are a strategic blueprint for meaningful connections that stand the test of time.
Early in my corporate career, I discovered the power of purposeful networking at Reliance Logistics. Solving operational issues meant reaching across business units and departments to seek input and insight. I didn’t start by offering my opinion — I started by asking questions. Those small acts of curiosity turned into trust.
Later, at Maersk Inland Services, those very connections helped me with innovative logistics ideas. People who once gave me answers became sounding boards in support of change.
Answers build credibility. Asking questions builds trust.
Remember, networking begins with curiosity. When you focus on understanding others’ needs, you start unlocking lasting relationships. So, don’t be afraid to ask questions and learn from others in your networking journey.
When you focus on understanding others’ needs, you start unlocking lasting relationships.
Use the 3Q Rule: Ask three thoughtful questions before offering your perspective in every new conversation. You could ask:
(i) What’s the biggest challenge you’re facing?
(ii) What’s worked before?
(iii) How can I help?
Also, maintain a “listening journal” — a record of problems you hear and to whom they matter.
While managing complex logistics operations at Maersk Inland Services, I often found myself sharing practical advice with peers — customised, relevant, and grounded in experience. This didn’t just help others. It established my credibility, opened the door to deeper conversations and brought in increased revenues and profits.
Good advice isn’t about showing off what you know.
It’s about meeting someone where they are — with relevance and humility.
Be generous with your perspective but focused. Tailor your input to context, not ego.
Use this line:
“Based on what you said, here’s something that worked for me — would this help?”
Keep your advice short, situational, and solution-oriented.
At a logistics conference, I noticed a peer struggling with insights related to supply chain infrastructure. Though it wasn’t my responsibility, I offered support. That act led to a project collaboration that lasted years.
These spontaneous offers — without expectation — often lead to the most trusted relationships.
Genuine relationships are forged not in grand gestures but in quiet help.
Assistance is how trust compounds. It is networking in action — not just words.
Apply the “One Offer, One Ask” method.
Each week, offer help to someone unprompted. Ask for help from another — it keeps you human and connected.
While mentoring a startup that struggled to gain traction, I went beyond giving advice. I championed their work to industry leaders, and that advocacy led to critical partnerships, transforming their runway.
In turn, their success deepened our bond — and expanded my network in new directions.
Advocacy nurtures loyalty and opens doors — for both sides.
Advocacy is the highest form of networking. It says: “I believe in you enough to stake my name.”
Keep a “Credibility Roster.”
List five people you believe in. Endorse one publicly monthly — on LinkedIn, in a meeting, or an introduction email.
From Achieving Success by Failing More:
“True advocacy creates a ripple effect — turning credibility into opportunity, and trust into influence.”
At a logistics innovation summit, I struck up a casual chat with someone from an adjacent field — supply chain innovation. We had little overlap, but the conversation was energising. Months later, that connection introduced me to a technology partner who reshaped how I approached digital logistics.
That weak tie led to a significant alliance.
Weak ties unlock doors you didn’t know existed.
They widen your world — and deepen your influence.
Don’t just cultivate your core circle. Reach beyond. That’s where transformation lives. Weak ties create serendipity, while strong ties sustain momentum.
Create a “Coffee Map.”
Identify 10 professionals outside your usual circles. Schedule one short conversation each week. Use the “Explorer Mindset” — ask what excites them, what they’re learning, and what they’re building.
According to Harvard Business Review, casual connections often lead to breakthrough opportunities. Weak ties provide 84% of new career opportunities. These “weak ties” span different industries, mindsets, and geographies.
At a networking event, I came well-prepared to pitch my logistics ideas — perhaps too well-prepared. I confidently launched into my pitch, only to realise I was speaking to someone from a competing firm.
The awkwardness was real. But the person appreciated the honesty, and we ended up having a laugh. That moment of vulnerability sparked a future collaboration.
Mistakes make you memorable.
Authenticity > polish.
People connect more with your realness than your perfection.
Before any event, research who’s attending — but stay open and adaptable. :)-
Use humour to bridge awkward moments.
In your follow-up, reference the misstep lightly — it shows grace and confidence.
Build Relationships Before You Need Them
💡 Actionable Steps:
1. Ask three questions before offering opinions. Curiosity builds trust.
2. Offer advice with relevance, not righteousness.
3. Give help freely. It plants seeds for future alliances.
4. Advocate publicly for one person this week.
5. Reach out to a weak tie. Your next big opportunity might be waiting there.
Master the 5As — Answers, Advice, Assistance, Advocacy, and Alliances — and you’ll find more than connections. You’ll find community.
Opportunities don’t arise from people you know. They arise from people who trust what you stand for. Networking isn’t about collecting cards. It’s about cultivating trust.
And Networking isn’t just about growth. It’s about shared journeys, aligned purpose, and creating impact — together.
If you’re in transition, reinventing your role, or leading others through change, start here:
Master the 5As.
Show up with value.
Help others rise.
Because when you build alliances that matter, you don’t just grow.
You multiply your impact.
* * *
I write about leadership, technology, and startups and offer actionable advice for business owners during transitions. You can also connect with me on LinkedIn.